hi bagshaa

Essay
Hello,

Could you please to proofread and edit my personal statement essay. Thanks


My name is Mongontsetseg. I was born 1987.I am quit short and well-built. I live in UB because came to laern in university of Information and Communiction Technology. There are seven of us in our family;my father is Sedsuren aged fifty five,my mother is Zagas younger sister is Urantsetseg aged nineteen. I have two brother. His name is Bold and Boldbaatar. They are 25 and 30years old. The person I admire most is my mom. She is kind and loving, responsible and hardworking. My mom is my role model and she has played an important role in my life. Some nights before bed, my mother would talk to me about her past, stories encourage me to try new things and work hard. My family live in Arkhangai Erdenemandal country side. My younger sister study school of ‘Teacher college’ .I was born and raised in the beautiful country of Mongolian, which is located in the Central Asia. I finished High School there and attended ten-year. This is my third semester here. Now I feel more confident about myself, because I passed all courses that I have been taking and received good grades and try to do my best to keep doing it.
I'm a very honest and friendly person. In addition I like science, arts and music, especially classical music and I love to read very much. My favourite music is pop. My favourite group is Kamerton. I can dancing and playing basketball very well. I enjoy reading interesting books, watching action movies, hanging out with my friends. I like to play on piano, to play big tennis and go to the gym. Unfortunately, I don't have much time to hanging out with my friends now, because I sacrificed my free time to learn. But it worth it in order to be proud of myself in the future and achieve my goal. I really like this school and the I have chosen this school among the others. I'm trying to do my best to study hard and to make good grades, because education is very important to me. My personality is one of my best assests. I'am funny, outgoing and genuinly care about other people. The thing I dislike I have a hard time expressing my emotions, or letting people in on what is bothering me because I assume that gives them the power to hurt me. And I don't like for anyone to see me cry. I hold back a lot and I don't like that about me. I love to read Novels, one of my best novels is The Kite Runner and Remember me. I am a people person. I don't normally like being alone. I think more than any other era in which humankind has ever lived, this age requires efficiency. According to this recent tendency is going to be harder and bigger, and with the advent of this new life style, only computer has been thought to be the alternative to achieve break through this time. I have some positive perspective on this stream, and in this essay, I will describe my own thinking with my personal regards and impersonal common senses. First of all, if it were not for computer, people in the era of multiplying information would be inundated by urging information, what is worse is that to facilitate efficiency in every respects of work, we need more information. Actually, the cutting edge technology in computer science have ameliorated efficiency, which has been converted to shrinking time spent for work and enlarging people’s free time. Not only efficiency, it has also augmented the approach for information. Sad to say, the inequality of approach to knowledge was the one of biggest main culprit that fortified the gap between the poor and the rich. Thanks to the advent of the internet, even the poor become to traverse the world of words. In the future, someone who wants to train themselves and fulfill their dream would not need to relinquish any longer because they would become to have the way to endeavor regardless of their monetary circumstances. Scanting the distances between person and person, class and class, the computer science will finally provide all of us with how to contend with the wall among humankind, which is the best expected way to use computer in the future. So I found myself flying into the other world. o I found myself flying into the other world.